San José = Mixed Bag

Throughout service, the many times I have come into San José have always been monumental in one way or another; either I come in for some type of training that would improve my abilities as a PCV or to visit "old" friends and "family" from my training days, or to well, leave the country by means of the airport. Certainly monumental, especially since I've only left two times.

What always strikes me, however, is how the citizens of San José are so...tough, angry, unmoved in comparison to the rural areas. Arrival to San José hardly provides the aura or flavor of what my little town of Bahía does.

You can therefore imagine my embarrassment when I act as my normal self and try to "befriend" a coffeeshop worker or clerk. No one cares. No one cares that you can speak Spanish pretty darn well, nor that you have spent two years integrating into their community, nor that maybe you understand a little bit more of the culture than the next gringo. No, even if it's quite obvious, I end up just being treated like the next "gringo".

Interesting. At first - a year ago or so - it used to bug me. Really bug me, and I felt pretty self-righteous about it ("hey! I'm here 'helping' YOU", I thought, which is ridiculous because of course neither did that person know that fact nor was I actually helping him/her directly). But as I've realized through my experience with the Peace Corps and in Life (Capital "L", mind you, this is important) things are just the way they are. Trying to fight them just makes you bitter and tired.

Today, therefore, was different than all the other times. I'll set the scene: here I am, floor two of a newish coffee shop called MusCafé on Central Ave (hardly the Central Ave you are seeing in your head, sorry for painting the wrong picture - but it is quite vibrant and beautiful and busy, all the same). And of course, true to my espresso-lover nature, I am drinking a cappuccino.

This cappuccino is the key to my story.

When I asked for it, though I've been here many times, the woman behind the counter asked for the first time whether I wanted a big or small cappuccino! Caught up in the emotions of "holy s*@$ I had no idea there was a BIG one" I mechanically ordered a small, although I was realizing meanwhile that what I really wanted was a BIG cappuccino (lots of document writing and running around at Peace Corps has made me extremely mentally exhausted)...but...it was too late. By the time I'd made my brain send the words "oops, no, mejor grande" to change the order to a BIG one, the woman had the cash register already opened. Transaction processed.

"Oh well", I thought, and told her so. But her supervisor (or someone in charge, he was a very big man standing next to her counting money) didn't think it was so funny and he gave me a look that sadly, though I cannot read minds, have been subjected to before and mostly here in San José: "stupid gringa," he thought, "always want exactly what they want and abuse the system to get it." I could see it in his eyes. After 2+ years I can tell what eyes mean to say - there is a difference between being hit on because you're gringa and between being thought stupid or a prissy want-it-all because you're gringa.

I felt like the prissy want-it-all. Though of course, I am not, had not intentionally been in this situation and never want to be. So naturally I was able - within ten seconds - to convince myself I'm not of that "sort" of person and didn't feel at all bad about the situation. But I quickly realized it was not the same for him, as he continued to glare at me. I wished I could tell him the same, and I still do, even now as he steals disappointed glances up in my direction every once in a while.

No, maybe I'll go and and flirt with him on my way out. That'll change his mind.

KIDDING. That is abuse of the system. He'll just have to realize it on his own.

Consequently, although I am certain this manager-dude is not changing his mind anytime soon, this experience, along with the thousands of others I've had here, served to provide further inspiration for my exuberant and somewhat crazy life goal of bringing cultures together and providing a better understanding of people world-wide. Further fire = more motivation = Life is Good.